Arrests never keep the past, the past
by klcm
Summary: When a cold case is reopened, Penelope is left with no other option than to face up to her past when she is arrested. How will the team take the news that their Penelope Garcia could be a murderer? How will she cope with them knowing her past?
1. You're under arrest

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

-----------------------------------------------------

**A/N:** Okay another story! But anyway... I'm writing ideas as they come at the moment! De-stress kind of thing... it's all working out so far!

But this is kind of like a prologue... short and to the point... I hope!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Baby girl you look amazing today.' Derek Morgan said as he took in the breathless view in front of him, the woman he loved looking ever more beautiful.

'Why thank you handsome, you don't look so bad yourself.' She said with a smile as she slid on his desk, taking in the view of the man she loved with her heart.

'What do we owe this honour then?'

'Lunch? With me?'

'Sure thing mamma, I'd love too.' He smiled at her and her heart melted.

'Okay handsome, well have fun with that file.'

'Thanks.' He said smiling hard with thick sarcasm.

'Don't work too hard.' She kissed his head and left the room happily. She set to work in her usual manner, her lair was her sanctuary during the days, her babies helped do the job, she passed out their offspring the best she could, always with a smile.

At lunch she went back up to the bull pen, she went into the break room to find Emily, Reid and Morgan all debating.

'Hey guys.'

'Hey baby girl.'

'What you up to?'

'Well Hotch has a detective and some police officers in his office, we're wondering what for.' Reid said as he kept his eyes on Hotch's office window. When Penelope looked up she saw Hotch, and Rossi, a man in a suit and two officers, something pretty heated was going down.

They all watched even more intrigued, as Rossi left the room, he gasped slightly to see her in the break room and not in her bunker. 'Penelope, you're needed.'

'Me... why?'

'You need to come into Hotch's office.' Without another word she followed him into the office, all eyes all of a sudden on her, she felt self conscious, she hated attention like this.

'Miss Garcia I presume?'

'Y... yes.' She stumbled for her affirmative. She looked at Hotch, who was obviously sieving with anger, but she knew it wasn't at her but at these men.

'I'm afraid you're under arrest.'

'For what?!' She said in a panic.

'For the murder of Chase McClusky.'

'Excuse me?' She said stunned.

'We have reason to believe you are the prime suspect of his death, are you going to come easily or do we need to apply force?'

'No I'll come easily.' She looked at Hotch, panic in her eyes.

'Don't worry Garcia, we'll follow.' She nodded, but he couldn't help but feel the fear as it radiated off of her. The detective too her arm and lead her out of the room.

'I thought you said no force.' She asked as he led her down the stairs, noticing the four other agents of the team were looking now.

'Well murderers don't get a choice.'


	2. You have motive

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

-----------------------------------------------------

Hotch followed, adamant that a miscarriage of justice was committed; he ignored the team and followed the police officers out. Rossi pulled back, the team were going to want to solve this, like they had done for Derek when he was held for serial killings in Chicago.

'Rossi... what the hell?' Emily said.

'Pen? A murderer?'

'I don't know much but a cold case has been reopened, and it seems Penelope is the prime suspect to the murder of a Chase McClusky.'

'What are we going to do about it?'

'Well Hotch already said for us to follow, the terror I saw on Penelope's face is not that of a murderer.'

'That's because she's not!' Derek spat out.

'Yeah, there's got to be more to this.'

'Well let's go and find out.' Rossi said as the others got their stuff and left.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they arrived at the police station there was Hotch berating some newbie looking officer, even with the teams experience the last person they ever wanted to get on the wrong side of was Hotch. It was just too plain scary but for him to be like this told them that he didn't view Penelope as a killer.

Rossi approached and placed a hand on his shoulder that told him to back down. Hotch did and turned to the team.

'Rossi and Morgan you are with me in there.' The two men swallowed and nodded. 'I don't care about anything but the truth here.' He then walked down towards the interrogation room and all three men slipped into the viewing room. There was Penelope sitting at a table nursing the arm that the detective had grabbed, she looked absolutely petrified and Derek felt his heart sink at ever having to see that look again.

The detective entered the room and slammed a box down, he took the file off the top and opened it, it slid a photograph across the table.

'Do you know this man?'

'Yes.' She answered truthfully.

'When was the last time you saw him?'

'About 11 years ago.' Penelope said without thinking.

'Was he alive?'

'Yes.' Again pure honesty, there was no way she was going to lie to this man, or the three men she was pretty certain was in the room behind the one way glass.

'Are you sure?'

'Pretty sure.'

'What was your relationship to him?'

'We were together.'

'As in boyfriend girlfriend together?'

'Yes.' She looked at the detective.

'The only reason we have an idea it was you that did this was because of this medical report.' He waved it in the air, then slid it towards her, she opened it and looked through. 'He did you over pretty well, didn't he?'

'That doesn't make me his killer.'

'What did he do to you Ms Garcia?' She remained quiet. 'What was it that tipped you over the edge?' Still remained quiet. 'Was it the multiple burns, or the knife wounds? Or the rape?'

'Why are you asking me when you've so obviously read this?' She picked the file up and waved it back at him with mock sarcasm.

'I want to hear from you everything he did.'

Penelope opened the file and pulled a picture out. 'There... he did_ THAT_ to me!'

'Still not telling me though are you?' He said, trying to break her. 'Why did he do it?'

'Because I was leaving him.'

'Why?'

'Because I didn't want to be part of his dirty little pathetic life anymore.'

'But he got to you first... then you thought maybe if you whack him, destroy him, eliminate him, eradicate him you would be free.'

'I didn't do this.' She said.

'We'll get to this soon, but what else did he do to you Ms Garcia? What put you in hospital for over a month?'

'It's called torture... that's what.'

'You are a very strong willed woman aren't you Ms Garcia.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Well you just admitted you were tortured, you've just looked at the pictures of yourself in hospital, and yet you don't seem to have flinched or drawn a tear.' He looked out into the viewing room, knowing full well who would have gone in there. 'It seems that him being dead finalised what happened for you.'

'Finalised?'

'Yes, he was dead so what's the problem? He couldn't possibly hurt you.'

'It was 11 years ago.'

'That doesn't matter... we are determined to close to this case once and for all and at the moment you are the lead suspect so why don't you just admit what you did.'

'Because I didn't do this.'

The detective pulled another picture out of the file. 'You were a nice couple I must admit... thought he was the love of your life?'

'No.'

'When did that change? When he started to smack you about? When he used his fists to pull his precedence over you? Why didn't you just leave him?'

'Because the first smack came when I tried to.'

'Ah so you admit he did smack you.'

'Why would I hide that?'

'Ah well you have motive.'

'So did a lot of other people.'

'You had the place to do it.'

'Again so did a lot of other people.'

'You had the help.'

'And for a third time so did a lot of other people.'

'So was this before or after you were leaving the underground doing illegal things?'

'Kind of to the end of leaving.'

'Did you leave with him?' He put the photo down and pushed it towards her.

'Yes.'

'What was he? You're protector? You're lover?'

'Well what do you think?'

'Just a straight answer Ms Garcia.'

'Yes.'

'What I am having a hard time understanding is what lead to this.' He pulled another photo out, and another and another, lining them up in front of her. 'What lead him to take you? To do this to you? To inflict so much hurt and pain?'

'I went to the police.

'About?'

'About everything.'

'Ms Garcia what is everything?'

'Money laundering, drug dealing, knocking off a few people.'

'So to exact revenge he took you and kept you locked away and tortured you... why such a heinous revenge.'

'Because that is how things are dealt with...'

'...Underground?' He finished off.

'Exactly.'

'Okay so let me get this straight... he HAD to take you, he HAD to keep you tied up, he HAD to beat you senseless, he HAD to torture you endlessly and he HAD to rape you multiple times?' She sat in silence looking at him. 'I think that definitely warrants motive.' He said getting up and leaving the room.


	3. Getting to the bottom of things

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

'Did you know?' Derek said looking Hotch and Rossi. They both looked at him Hotch's eyes told him everything. 'Why didn't she say anything?'

'Because she never expected it to come out like this.'

Derek was about to say something but he remembered back to when he was arrested and it was him on that side of the glass, he looked at Penelope as she stared at a photo, her eyes looking everywhere but at the glass, she knew that he, Hotch and Rossi were behind the glass. They were the interrogators of the team so she knew. Now they knew what had happened, understandably Hotch knew but she didn't want anyone else to know, it was supposed to stay the past. She wanted to release it when she was ready.

'I'm going to go in there.' Hotch said as the detective came in.

'You can't.'

'And why not?'

'You're personally involved.'

'To hell with that...' He saw the detectives face. 'Fine get me the case files, her assault and the cold case and then you let me in there.' The detective knew not to argue and got the secondary copies of everything. Hotch looked through the glass to see Penelope wipe a tear away. 'Will we get her out of this.' he said. Moments later the detective came in and passed over the files and left the three men as they opened the files. 'What one first?'

'The assault... we need to know what motive she truly had.' Rossi reasoned.

They all took some photo's and looked intently, there before them in photographic imagery was Penelope, completely unrecognisable. Her hair had been hacked off, her face completely swollen, her jaw screaming out broken, her shoulder suffering a gunshot wound, lacerations from a dragged knife all over, her legs and arms hacked about.

'It is concern for pay back.'

'Yeah but I can't see it somehow... something doesn't add up. According to the reports, this happened 2 months after she was released from the hospital, she wouldn't have had the physical ability to do so much damage.' Hotch said looking at the photos of a dead Chase McClusky. 'There is too much physical assertions to his entire body for her to have done.'

'Would she have got help?'

'I doubt it... Penelope would have been preoccupied with these injuries to worry about 'eradicating' someone don't you think?'

'Exactly... so someone snubbed him out for other reasons.'

'One problem... how do we know who?' Just then they heard the door open and close to the interrogation room, they moved their attention to the window again as the detective paced.

'Did you get help?'

'No.'

'Well you couldn't have done it alone... so who helped?'

'I didn't do this.'

'I'm having a hide time believing that.'

'Why's that then?' Penelope questioned him, having some idea where this was going.

'Well reading your medical file over, it seems Mr McClusky came to see you in the hospital.'

'Yes... did you read on from there?'

'I did...'

'Then you would have seen what he did.'

'I did... I read how he tried to 'finish' you off.' He said almost mocking you.

'So how does that help you think that I could've done this? He tried to kill me twice; do you seriously think I was that stupid to go near him after that?'

'Well if you had an accomplice.'

'I could give you a list of people that would have wanted Chase McClusky taken off this earth... just because he did this does not mean I was the only one.' Penelope looked at the photo of her. 'How about the girlfriend he did this to before me?'

'Ah now we are having problems finding her.'

'But she has motive as well.'

'Well she wasn't as bad as you... that was a mere beating.'

'But still... it was beating, meagre or not, he still beat her. She still ended up in hospital.'

'How do you know this?'

'She was a friend of mine.'

'Why didn't she warn you off him?'

'Because she disappeared... it wasn't difficult to back then.'

'Hmm... did you ever contemplate knocking him off?'

'It was mutual feeling...'

'Was that your first thought when you woke from the coma?'

'No.'

'What was?'

'That I was safe... that I was away from him, from his actions.' Penelope said as she fiddled with the pictures. 'Don't you think I was too preoccupied with dealing with the repercussions of this to start plotting a death plan for a twat?'She said facing the photo to him.

'Insulting a dead man.'

'Oh seriously... are you for real?' She said in disblief as the man sat there and defended one member of the multiple scum in the world.

'Oh very.'

'He was picked up more than enough times to get warranted every name under the sun... his name was kind of like a house hold saying... every police officer knew he had it coming one day... he couldn't simply live in the shadows forever.'

'What's that suppose to mean?'

'There is always someone bigger and better than ourselves... he believed he was the big shot, he played that.'

The detective left without another word. He walked into the viewing room. 'So you think she's still innocent?'

'There's not enough evidence to convict her... she didn't have the ability to arrange something like this, motive or not.'

'You can go into her, one of you, I'm going to get Chase McClusky's file.'

Hotch left the room and enter the interrogation room, Penelope sat in silence, her head running off the various results of this arrest.

'Penelope... look at me.'

'Do you think I did it?'

'No... I think you were set up.'

'Well why can you believe I didn't do this...' She held the photo up. 'And he can't?'

'Because he's after a conviction we aren't.' Hotch took a seat opposite. 'Are you okay?'

She shrugged her shoulders. 'Who knows.... who's in the room with you?'

'Rossi and Morgan.' She hung her head, obviously ashamed and embarrassed. 'Penelope, they want to help you as much as me, they know the things with interrogations...'

'I never wanted this to come out like this.' She said as she put her head in her hands. 'Hotch I didn't do this.' She said as she lifted her head up to look at him. So much emotion playing on her voice, her pupil's didn't dilate when she said it, showing innocence. Her body language portraying her innocence. 'I know you're profiling me.' She gave him an all knowing look. 'And for once I'm grateful for it.'

'We will get you out of here.'

'Hotch I got a letter about two days ago, it's in my kitchen, I have a feeling it has something to do with this.'


	4. We all harbour secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

'Morgan go into her... Rossi take Emily and get this letter.' Rossi nodded and left, Derek took his orders and entered the interrogation room.

'Hey baby girl.' Penelope looked at him wide eyed. 'How you holding up?' He saw her shoulders drop and knew the walls had gone up.

'Hmm I could be doing better.' She said without any emotion. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be, we all harbour secrets until we want to share them.'

'And I do want to share them with you but...'

'... but when you're ready.' She nodded. 'I understand and respect that.'

The door swung open. 'Agent Morgan I'm afraid I need you to leave now.' Derek stood and complied, leaving a completely disheartened Penelope behind. 'Well according to this file McClusky got arrested several times for battery on women, why did you go with him?'

'I wasn't made aware of who he was until I was too involved.'

'Too involved? With what?'

'With him!'

'In what way.'

'Oh seriously?'

'In what way Ms Garcia?'

'Sexually involved.'

'Ahem, okay so you were too involved to get out of his world... you said it was easy to disappear back then, why didn't you?'

'He wouldn't let me out of his sights long enough; he wouldn't leave me to think to myself long enough to think of how to just disappear.'

'But you still had time to get to the police.'

'Yeah but that took me long enough to get there.'

He opened the report. 'Hmm after a broken wrist, multiple breaks to ribs, why didn't you alert the police then?'

'Because he was always there, he never left me alone in a room.'

'What excuses did you give the hospital?'

'Fallen down some stairs, landed awkwardly.'

'SO you feigned stupidity to cover up for him?'

'You don't understand... it took me nearly a year to get to a police station, and when I finally did they didn't protect me, they didn't do anything for 3 days after, he took me that night, that was 3 days he had to start his fun.'

'How did he find out?'

'He knew a lot of people.'

'Okay so he got you the same day you went to the police about him and his actions. Ketamine ring a bell?' He said looking up from the file.

'Yes.'

'Why does it ring a bell?'

'Because that's what he used.'

'Used for what?'

'To make it easier to take me.'

'So he drugged you into an easy state?' She remained quiet. 'He used ketamine so you were in a drugged state where you were completely aware of your surroundings, of him but were unable to defend yourself.' She remained quiet, looking at him. 'Did he keep you drugged?'

'Initially.'

He read down the report. 'He drugged you for the first 24 hours; did he beat you within that time?'

'No.'

'He left you alone?'

'No.'

'What did he do?'

'He set up.'

'Set up what?' He pulled a photo out. 'Was it this?' He slid the photo across the page. 'And this?' Another photo. 'All of this?' He slid the third one across the table. 'He used a lot of different things on you... pain level must have been horrific... how much were you drugged for it.'

'Not enough.' She said nonchalantly.

'Are you saying he used these objects on while you were completely aware of pain?'

'Yes.'

'Well you must have thought if you got out alive you would want his head on stick surely?'

'No.'

'What were your thoughts?'

'My thoughts while he used this, and this, and all of this was that I wanted to take one last breath and die.' She said as she picked the photos of tools and equipment.

'So never a murderous thought entered you head... just thoughts of a looming death? How bad did you want death?'

'Too much.' She admitted.

'Surely death would be the weak mans way out?'

'Are you saying that you expected me to lay there and take whatever he gave all the time thinking happy thoughts?' She said anger growing. 'You have no idea what it felt like to lay there and have a man hack at your body while all you could do was cry and scream through the gag that was forced in your mouth.'

'Why did he let you go?'

'I don't know.'

'Didn't you bother asking?'

'Didn't I bother asking? You have got to be kidding me... Oh yeah I asked him why he let me go the moment he chucked me on the side of the road.'

'What about back at the place he did this? Or the on the journey to dropping you off?'

'He'd just done all this to me, do you seriously think I was in any state to have a chat with him? To sit and get answers?' She looked at him harder. 'Did you really read that medical report or are you picking out the bits you want to know?'

'Caught me out... I'm picking bits out.'

'Well maybe you should read it fully... you're telling me I could've done this, and that I did that but if you had read that report it would tell you exactly why I couldn't.'

Admitting defeat the man got up and left the room, entering the viewing room he was met with two pairs of angry eyes. 'What I am doing my job.'

'No you're not... you're bullying her.'

'I want my confession.'

'Well I suppose you look elsewhere for it.'

'You can't believe it forever.' He defended. 'She has the motive, she has the knowhow.'

'We all have the knowhow... anyone is capable but I think you need to read that report, then you might see why she couldn't do it.' The detective looked at him unconvinced. 'Everything you have said to her, everything she has told you would have made it difficult for her to even move on her own... you read the rest of that report and you'll see why she was in hospital for near enough two months... you'll see why she spent most of her time after back and forth from a rehabilitation centre.' Hotch said forcefully.

'Okay I'll go and read it.'

'I suggest you read it two or three times to get it into your head what she suffered... then I think you need to get character reports from people from her apartment and work... to see what she has turned into.'

'People can change.'

'Not with a past like that, they either get worse or they move on, moving on does not involved a murderous one off.'


	5. Getting her out

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Rossi rushed into the viewing room and handed the letter over to Hotch, he saw the urgency and read it quickly, he looked up and left the room. He went into the interrogation room.

'Penelope... this letter... why didn't you come to me?'

'I didn't put two and two together... I was going to but when I made the verification that I needed to believe it.'

'Okay... but Jacob? Isn't that one of your brothers?' She nodded her head. 'Were you aware he could do such a thing?'

'No... I mean I hadn't seen him for years but I was told he had been to the hospital and he was angry but I never had him down as the one to do this...'

'This would make sense, plus he has no ties to McClusky except through you so he would be the last person we would look for.'

'He wouldn't do it to set me up would he?'

'No... I think he did this out of revenge... I mean it does end, Once a Garcia, forever a Garcia... he felt he was protecting you.' Hotch stood up. 'I'm going to get your brother here and then we are getting you out.'

'Thank you.'

'It's nothing Garcia... I don't believe you did this.' He then left and Penelope placed her head in her hands.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later, Jacob Garcia was led in, guilty man walking was the look on his face. He was place in an interrogation room not far away from Penelope. For now she had to remain in the room, isolated, while the team did everything they could to find out the truth. Little did she know Derek didn't want to get involved with that as much, he wanted to keep an eye on his goddess.

'Jacob Garcia did you send this letter ot Penelope Garcia?'

'I did.'

'How did you know the case would be reopened?'

'I'm an officer, I keep an eye on things like this... I made this a prominent watch.'

'Why?'

'Because my sister was involved.'

'But she hadn't heard from you for years... how did you find out?'

'It was on the news... 23 year old woman found on road side severely beaten... the likeness given was too uncanny to not be Penny.'

'How long had she been in hospital before you saw her?'

'Over a week.'

'What state was she in?'

'She was still comatose.'

'How often did you visit?'

'Not often... that once was basically enough after that I didn't go.'

'What did you do?'

'I plotted.'

'Plotted what?'

'The death of the man who did it to her.'

'How were you certain it was him?'

'I know people too... it wasn't hard when I asked around... he was a smug bastard... I found him, and where he did it... it took me nearly 3 months but I did whatever I liked to make it slow.'

'Did you know your sister was being done with this murder?'

'What! Why?'

'Because she had motive.'

'I did this though. Not Penny... she spent most part of 6 months in and out of hospital' He looked at Hotch and Rossi. 'I kept up to date secretly... I needed to make sure she was okay... I knew she would never allow me to help directly so I kept an eye out.'

'Oh right.'

'She had no ability to do this... she had hardly any ability to look after herself. I DID this.' He reinforced.

With that Hotch and Rossi left the room, evident to sort some matters out. They found the detective asking more questions to Penelope.

'Can we borrow you detective.' Hotch smiled at Penelope and closed the door. 'We just got your confession for you.'

'Who from?'

'Jacob Garcia... sender of this letter, you have an almost written confession there.'

'I don't care.. . this proves nothing.'

'Plus we just got you a recorded confession.'

'How?'

'We have Jacob Garcia in interrogation room 4.' Hotch and Rossi gave the detective a glare. 'I think you need to be releasing a certain person now.'

'I'm not convinced.'

'Well maybe not, but your evidence of motive just fell through with a huge confession so you either let her go or we get you done for misconduct of a federal agent.'

'You wouldn't.'

'Wouldn't I?'

'Or me.'

'Fine... but if this is genuine, I will give my sincerest apologise.'

'It's a water tight confession, its right and now you cold case just got closed... maybe next time you should look more rather than pointing the finger the first moment you get.' The detective nodded and headed for interrogation 4.

Rossi got Derek out of the viewing room, while Hotch went to Penelope.

'Come on, let's get you home.'

'Are you for real?'

'Your brother just confessed everything... that makes you innocent.' He saw her look at him. 'Come on let's go and get a drink.' She stood and dropped the photo's she was holding. She walked out and got pulled into a hug by Derek, she accepted it willingly and clung on like her life depended on it.

'Come on baby girl...' He said as he kissed her head. 'I'm going to stay with you tonight okay?'

'Okay.' She said quietly, if a little withdrawn.

Derek then took her hand and led her out after Hotch and Rossi; they found the remaining three members in seats looking completely frustrated. 'Come on you three let's go and get a drink.' Hotch trying to get some enthusiasm into them. His face told them that they would have to wait until later to be told the details. As they were walking out to their SUV's, Hotch pulled Penelope away. 'If you don't want to tell them that's your choice, if you do I'll support you all the way.'

'Thank you sir, but I think it's time to tell them, its unfair to not after today.'

'Penelope are you okay?'

'Yeah, I just don't feel great at the moment.' She said quietly again.

'Sure you want a drink or do you want to go home?'

'It's just a head ache, I'll be okay... one drink and if it continues I'll catch a cab home.'

'Not without Morgan you aren't.' She rolled her eyes at him and he laughed slightly. 'Come on we have 5 worried faces staring us out.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'To freedom... I think is the cause of our toast.' Rossi said raising his glass in the air, they all followed suit but Penelope felt it was useless, she was not in the mood to celebrate, all she could think about was what happened.

She plastered a smile on her face. 'I say to not be a murderer.' They all agreed, knowing it was bothering more than her happy exterior showed. She looked at them all. 'Thank you.'

'Penelope Garcia! It was nothing, we help one another.' Hotch said happily, he had promised to her her out and he would not have turned his back on that until justice was officially and properly served.

'Family is what it is.'

'Yeah family.' They all said and a proper smile grew on her lips which made them smile with her, whatever Penelope shared with them, didn't matter, they were all guilty of skeletons, but together they have shared and together they would stick by one another.


	6. No more secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

-----------------------------------------------------

As soon as the door to her apartment opened Penelope thought she had found her safe place, her hide away from destructions but not tonight. Her and Derek walked in and yet as she walked in the feelings still hung over her. She felt haunted, she felt hunted.

'Baby girl go and have a shower okay? I'll get something to eat.' She nodded, he was worried about her because she had become quiet at the bar, she had told the others that tomorrow if they went to hers for breakfast she would tell them everything, but for tonight she couldn't cope. He watched her walk despondently into the bathroom and close the door behind her.

She turned the shower on and sat on the toilet seat, she put her elbows on her knees and placed her head in her hands, only now did she allow the tears she had tried so hard to hide. Her past had just been exposed and laid bare to a stranger; he had made her sound like the perpetrator when in fact she was the victim through and through. He had made it sound like she could have somehow prevented it happening, that she could have demanded answers. Still crying she undressed and stood under the flowing water, she just stood aimlessly, not doing anything, her tears mixing with the artificial tears made from the shower head. Every time she closed her eyes she opened them to see the room. Her eyes shot open to reality and there she was in her bathroom, 9 years in the future.

'Baby girl?' Derek asked worryingly as he tapped on the door, Penelope's showers never ran over 15 minutes, now she had been in there over 25 and he knew what she was up to.

'I'll be out in a minute.' She replied and he heard her voice thick with tears.

'C'mon baby, come out to me.'

'I'm okay.'

'No you're not.' He said feeling useless as he heard her voice break. 'P... now... get here.' He said sternly. He waited and heard the shower turned off, he waited again and minutes later the door opened and Penelope appeared in front of him.

'I'm sorry.'

'For what baby girl?'

'For never telling you... and you being here.'

'P... I want to be here for you, but if you'd rather I left...'

'No!... sorry no please don't.' She said looking down.

'Come on baby girl, get some clothes on, we need to talk.' She nodded and complied, grabbing some sweats that Derek smiled as he recognised as his, and an oversized top, that was also his. 'This isn't a fair trade baby girl, you have two pieces of my clothing, and I have none of yours.'

'I'd like to see you fit handsome.' She said as she opened to door fully clothed, her hair down and damp, her eyes reddened with tears and glassy.

He took one look at her and pulled her towards him. 'I want you to know I don't think any less of you P... what I saw today was a brave woman that would not let a man beat her down.' It was then he felt her body shake as she sobbed; he tightened his grip on her, proving the comfort he wanted to give to her.

She pulled away from him and continued to look down. 'Sorry, I've been so good at living life with that as a memory that him putting the pictures out and making me relive it all forcefully has just brought it all to me, every time I close my eyes it's there.'

'I get that baby.' He said, she looked him in the eyes and she smiled slightly, he did get it. It happened just after Buford, so he got it.

'Thank you.' She whispered. 'If there was anyone I want here right now, it would've been you.'

'I want to be here... after how you looked out for me after Buford, I want to be here.' He said with a genuine smile. 'Come on I have food waiting for us.' He led her to the table and they ate in silence, her mind obviously working overtime. When they were finished they jointly did the washing up, he allowed her the silence she needed again. She grabbed him a beer and got herself a glass of wine; she then sat down and patted the sit next to her for him to sit.

'What film baby girl?'

'I don't mind...' She looked at him. 'Can we just... talk?'

'About what?'

'About what happened today.'

'Okay...'

'I truly am sorry... my plan was to tell you and I was going to broach the subject when we were meant to go to lunch but that went askew and I ended up in an interrogation with my past being thrust upon me with so much force I felt my life falling down.' He nodded. 'The detective wasn't listening and I felt so exposed with those photo's there and for once in my life I had to step up and take it, I couldn't just run and hide.'

'Hotch is proud of how you handled it.' She looked at him with shock filled eyes. 'You fought your side when we couldn't... you stood your ground.'

'I just needed him to see what he was clearly missing.'

'And even if you felt like you didn't get that... Hotch finished him off.'

She smiled slightly, a smile full of sadness. 'I don't know how to feel, do I feel loved that my brother protected me or do I feel terrible because he did revenge on my behalf?'

'P... he did what he did because the thought of someone doing that to his little sister and getting away with it was to great to let lie.' He kept her eye contact. 'He came to you in the hospital, he also kept check on you, well after... he confessed the moment Hotch said you were being done for it... he knew what he did and his taking the punishment like a hero... and to be honest, I think he's brave, for him to put his life in jeopardy to make sure you were safe from a man that would never leave you alone makes a really loving person.'

'You think?'

'I know so...' He then allowed a smile to escape his lips. 'You may have been broaching the subject with me about this but I was needing to talk to you about something.'

'Oh?' She asked raising her eyebrow at him.

'Yes... you know how we're best friends?' She nodded. 'And we spend a LOT of time together?' She nodded again. 'Well, I think I love you.' He said sheepishly, mentally kicking himself. 'I'm sorry... that wasn't meant to come out like that... but I have had this feeling for too long... and I understand if...' He couldn't continue as his lips became joint with Penelope's. When they finally pulled away, she had blushed a bright red colour. He smiled at her and kissed her how he had wanted to. 'I take that as you want this too?'

'I do... I really do.' She said with so much certainty. 'Another thing I felt was time to tell you but I was...'

'Scared.' He said at the same time as her.

'Yes.' She laughed nervously. 'I was scared to ruin what we have but my life's been put into perspective and I don't want secrets.'

'Me neither.'


	7. Telling all

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

She been wide awake for nearly an hour before she heard him suck in a breath and moan as he woke up. Last night she was plagued with nightmares, like she had made herself aware would occur but Derek had been a gentleman and settled for the couch. However, he woke her up from the curse of the past and hugged her through the night and now here she was still in his arms, her head resting on his chest.

'Feels natural baby girl.' His voice came out thick with sleep.

'Mm.' She replied with complete contentment.

'How did you sleep?'

'Really well.' She said moving off so she could look at him. 'Thank you.'

'Any day baby girl any day.' He looked at his watch. 'I think we overslept slightly.'

'Why?'

'Erm everyone's going to be in here in like 10 minutes.'

'Oh dear.' She replied and then laughed. 'Come on then handsome.' She said getting up and getting some clothes out.

'You seem better today P.'

'I feel it... I mean family right?' He nodded and smiled. 'And plus getting things off my chest with you has made my shoulders feel so much lighter.' She looked at him with a genuine stronger smile. 'How about yours?'

'Amazingly light... plus I got the woman I love now.' He said and walked towards her, he kissed her and then pulled away. 'Now we have 5 minutes.'

'Okay well go do your thing and I'll do mine... Hotch and Emily are bringing breakfast so we don't have to worry about that.'

'Nope.'

'I also got Hotch to bring the file over... I know you three read it yesterday and I want to see what was put in it.'

'Have you not seen it?'

She shook her head. 'The pictures were taken while I was still in a coma, and then my statement got added but I was never told anything else about it.' He nodded and kissed her head.

'You did us proud yesterday.'

'Moment of weakness on my part last night... but I'm done being the victim, I have protectors in my life now.'

'That you do baby girl.' He smiled and left the room to get a change of clothes from his SUV. He knew Penelope was in a new frame set, her voice didn't sound ready to break and her eyes told of her strength she had gained. What he didn't know was that he played the biggest part in that.

When he got back he found her getting plates out, she was dressed and looking ever more beautiful. 'Stop staring at me and get changed... you must be down to seconds now handsome.' She said turning round to face him with a grin on her face.

'Too late, Hotch and Rossi were pulling up as I was locking up.'

'Well then you better rush.' She replied walking to the door, and opening it just as Hotch was about to knock. 'Morning boss men.'

'Morning Penelope, how are you today?'

'A lot better than yesterday thank you.'

'That's good to hear.' Rossi commented as he put a bag down on the counter.

Hotch approached Penelope. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

'Yes... I'm a survivor Hotch... not a victim, yesterday it all came at me with so much momentum that I got caught off guard... but you're a family right? Families don't keep secrets.' She then added a smile that said everything it needed to.

'Okay... well they should be here about now.'

'We are!' Emily said as she entered the open door. 'We weren't far behind you guys.'

'Ah okay.'

'Morning Pen.'

'Moring you three.'

Derek entered the room freshly dressed and they all dug in the bags and helped themselves to mountains of food that everyone had brought, they ate with mixed conversations in the air and then washed up together to get it done faster. When they were all done they took seats, all looking at Penelope.

She drew in a breath and began. 'Chase McClusky was a boyfriend of mine when I was underground, let's just say he was not the nicest of men but I didn't become aware of that until like 4 months into our relationship. I was informed by someone about what he was up to, so when I could I would follow him with this person to see if they were right and they were. I saw him beat up a couple of people, deal drugs and pass out endless threats all within the course of 3 hours.'

They all nodded. 'I decided then and there it was my chance to get out, to get free of him, I knew enough about him to not make me want to be part of his life. When I did try to leave he smacked me, it became a regular thing and he never let me be on my own, never gave me my personal place to think. I did manage to sneak off at one point and I went to the police and alerted them to him, they knew who he was and I had bruises to go with a case of GBH, when I got back he confronted me, someone had been watching me and they had told him that I had been to the police. He drugged me and kept me locked up for four days before the police found us. It took the police three days to even begin an investigation.'

'So what happened?' Emily asked, her expression matching that of Reid's and JJ's. Hotch; Rossi and Derek were all aware of it all. Penelope just pushed the medical report towards them.

'You can look but its might not be the best sight for this early in the day.' Emily snatched it up and opened it.

'He did this to you?' Penelope nodded. 'And he never got caught?'

'He lived underground, well that was until he was killed.'

'Well good... if he wasn't dead I would tracking him down.'

'I think it's safe to say that we all would.' Hotch confirmed and gave Penelope a smile. He thought nothing less of her for keeping this a secret, nor did he look at her and see victim written over her. 'The arrest done yesterday was to get Penelope done for McClusky's murder.'

'But the extent of these injuries surely you wouldn't have been able to?'

'Exactly... I didn't get out of the hospital for nearly a month and when I did was in and out rehab for 6 months, I didn't regain any independence for like a year.'

'Who looked after you?'

'Some friends I had who were fed up of the underground.'

'So who did do it?'

'My brother apparently.'

'He gave a complete confession yesterday.'

'But I thought...'

'I know... I didn't think they cared either.' Penelope admitted.

'So he avenged you.' Penelope nodded and so did Hotch. 'And now is going to prison?' Nods again.

'Pen why didn't ever say anything?' Reid asked, after looking up from a photo he had in his hand.

'When's the right opportunity to bring that up?' She pointed to the file and it's many photos. 'It's not something you spurt out and to be honest I had literally moved on, it was my past, it doesn't change anything about me.'

'No! Of course.' Emily said panicked that Penelope might think they thought of her differently. 'But you do know we wouldn't have minded you telling us however.'

'I get that but now you know, its my past, yeah okay it's not a nice past but it is the past.'

'How you feeling about it all?'

'It's daunting and its in the place in my head at the moment that I truly don't want it to be but I'm fine.' Penelope smiled, her shoulders even more light for telling all to the team, they all smiled genuine smiles and she surveyed their eyes, all not holding the look of pity but of support.


	8. Reassessing and Reinforcing

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Everyone had long since gone home, including Derek and now Penelope found herself sitting on her bed, lights off, silhouettes cast everywhere. She didn't need light, she didn't need noise, she needed silence, the silence that the dead of the night brings, that makes a worried soul talk, that makes a troubled mind reassess. She wasn't saddened about them knowing her past, nor was she ashamed, but what made her sit here in complete darkness was the fear she felt whenever she thought of it. The fear that sat in the pit of her stomach for when the memory bank got robbed and things were set free to reign and wreak havoc the only way it knows, through nightmares and flashbacks.

She didn't mind being alone but something about this loneliness was kind of haunting yet she took a deep breath whenever the urge to sink into a corner and hide came about. She didn't close her eyes, she just stared at nothingness, the darkness made spaces all one, there was nowhere to look in darkness but at darkness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek looked up at the apartment windows and saw no movement, he knew she was wide awake for her blinds and curtains were open that verified for him that she was indeed mulling over the events of the last day. Not self wallowing but assessing life and her past. He watched a man and woman enter the courtyard holding hands and sighed; he ran a hand over his head and headed home. Missing the light that came on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She got up off the bed and headed into the bathroom, now that was the only light that illuminated her whole apartment, she put the bath on and went to the fridge, she got wine out and the tequila bottle. One shot later she poured herself the wine and walked into the bathroom, pushing the door too slightly she put the glass down and got undressed, there in the mirror she looked over her shoulder and saw the scars still covering part of her back, the last remains of the man who had done this to her. She felt a chill run up her spine, like someone walking over her grave so to speak. She shook the feelings over taking her and stepped into the bath. Soon sleep caught her and she feel asleep in the deep bath as it soothed her, when she woke up the water was nearly cold, she pulled the plug out with her toes and got up out of the water, she dried off and put pyjamas on. She then just sat on the bed, no more sleep came to her, the bath had distracted her but now she was left with her own thoughts. Questioning her every part of existence in the world.

She had a family who would support her but it was the loneliness that scared her, okay so Derek had confessed that he was madly in love with her but he might drop off that pedestal like the others. She snapped out of her train of thought when she heard the door open, not truly realising how much time she had wasted entrapped in her own mind. She sat frozen, then she heard the door close and the rustling of bags. She stood cautiously and went out and released all tension gathered and smiled.

'Baby girl... what are you doing up?'

'What are you doing here?' She questioned back at him.

'I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.'

'Hmm any particular reason?'

'Well I can't just tell a woman I'm in love with her and not act upon it.'

There it was the genuine passionate reinforcement of his love, she kicked herself for ever doubting that Derek Morgan would be a Lynch to her. It affirmed how much he loved her there and then and her existence in the world slid back into place.

'How did you sleep baby girl?'

She shrugged her shoulders in response. '2 and half hours in the bath, none in bed.'

'Is that it?'

'Yeah.'

'P, what's up?'

'I was making use of the dark.'

'By staying awake?'

'Yep... staying awake and reassessing everything.'

'You questioned me didn't you? Questioned the last few days?' She nodded and looked down, away from his eyes that were seeking refuge with hers. He walked towards her, placed a finger under her chin and made her look at him. 'I am never going to stop having these feelings... it's taken me two years to get to this point there is no way I am turning my back on you... ever.'

She couldn't stop the tear as it escaped but couldn't help but smile as Derek caught it for her. 'Thank you.'

'Come here baby girl.' He said drawing her into a hug. 'I shouldn't have gone last night.'

'I didn't mind.'

'Well maybe not but I do... we are going to do this properly P... I promise we are going to do this.' She nodded. 'Now sit on the couch, while I make pancakes.'

'Ooh pushing the boat out I see.' She joked.

'For you I am.' He said as he entered the kitchen. 'Baby were you drinking last night?' He called out to her as he noticed the empty shot glass in the sink.

'I had one and a glass of wine... that I didn't drink.'

'Why?'

'Sleep remedy.' She said with a slight nonchalant tone to her voice.

'Did it work?'

'Temporarily.' She said as she slumped on the couch with a sigh. She grabbed a large cushion and put her knees up, still hugging the cushion she dropped her chin so she was tightly curled up staring ahead. The next thing she knows a plate of Pancakes with banana slices and cut up strawberries is being held in front of her. She put her hand out but Derek walked away, with the plate. 'Handsome.'

'Na uh baby girl... table.' He says as he puts the plate down, and goes into the kitchen and brings out a cup of tea and a plate for himself. 'Come on baby girl.'

She gives in and sits with him at the table, she smiles instantly as she read what he had written on them, I love you. 'Aw you're a deep down romantic at heart aren't you?'

'Only when it comes to my baby girl.'

'Well your baby girl appreciates it very much. You've made her day.'

'I'm glad I have.' He says and smiles as she gives him a masterpiece of a smile that makes his breath hitch slightly, it's a different smile than what she gives everyone else and he knew at that moment as he looked at it he would never get bored of seeing it.


	9. Saying it is crazy

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Life ticked over nicely, life reasserted itself into a normal rhythm. There was nothing but support around within the team, although they all realised it was there, their family traits and concern had gone up another notch. It had been 3 months since the day Penelope had been arrested, nearly 3 months since she released the demon that was her past. Nearly 3 months since her brother had made the confession that he had avenged for her.

'Yes handsome, I am just leaving my place now.' She laughed done the phone at Derek as she locked her apartment door, already 15 minutes late. 'I want to grab my post and then I am on my way to yours.'

'I've been waiting ages though baby girl.' He answered as she rushed down the stays.

'Hey look, I am pulling out my post right about now.' She said pulling it from her slot. 'What's this?' She questioned quizzically as she pulled a thickly filled envelope out. She put the phone on her shoulder and held it with her head, all other post forgotten. She ripped it open but remained talking to Derek. 'Hmm... Strange.'

'What is?'

'I've been sent a tape.'

'A tape?'

'Hang on there's a letter with.'

**You thought your past was your past**

'Erm, I think you might need to get Hotch and get over here.'

'Why?' Derek said alarmed. She read the letter to him and heard his breathing change.

'There's no return address.' Was all she said not bothering to hide the panic from her voice, no return address meant that the envelope had been put in there by someone other than a postman.

'Okay baby girl... go back to your apartment, lock your door, I'll ring Hotch but I will be there in like 5 minutes.'

'Okay.' She said looking at the handwriting, it looked so familiar, then she looked out through the main door trying to see if anyone was outside looking in, when no one made an obvious appearance she wallowed hard and headed upstairs. All the time the feeling of fear built. Derek found her pacing the small space in the apartment and instantly pulled her to him to help her calm down. 'You okay?' She nodded and he knew she was panicking. 'Hotch is just on his way up and we'll sort this out.' The next thing they know the rest of the team are filing in and Emily and JJ are by Penelope.

'What did the note say?' Penelope remained silent but pointed to the coffee table where the note and the tape were. Hotch picked up the note read it and looked at Penelope. 'We are going to have to watch it to see what we are dealing with here.' She nodded and Rossi picked the tape up and put it in the player, instantaneously the film rolled into the sound of laughter. Penelope put her head up the heavens as she knew the laughter. She put her head down, her attention on the screen of the television just as lights burst on and there in the middle of the dank claustrophobic room was a woman with her hands bound behind her back on a chair, her blonde hair matted with blood, her body shivering with exhaustion and the multiple beatings she had already sustained, her head slumped forward slightly. They all looked at Penelope her eyes now glued to the screen, completely emotionless, completely silent. JJ grabbed one hand; Emily grabbed the other as they continued to watch the fall out happening on the screen.

'_Penelope.' The voice said, they watched the man that the voice belonged to as he crouched in front of Penelope. 'Do you understand why I did this?' No reply came out. He reached up and ran a hand down her face; the pain filled whimper rang out as Penelope's body shook more. 'I love you.' _

That was it for Penelope as she watched and listened to him profess his love, the tears built and fell silently as she watched herself getting hurt, feeling the hands violate her again as they caressed her damaged skin.

_McClusky stood up, grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up to a standing position, they watched as he literally threw her to the ground. 'You should have known Penelope...' KICK. 'That I do not take kindly to betrayal.' KICK. 'But I am more than willing to forgive.'_

'Can we please just stop.' Penelope said knowing full well what came after that third kick, she knew that the sixth rape would occur and as much as she had just allowed them to see her get beaten she was not prepared for them to watch her get raped. 'Please?' She sobbed as the screen showed McClusky turn Penelope's limp body on her back, her hands still bound tightly behind her. Hotch knew in that stance what was going to roll out and immediately turned it all off and ejected the tape.

Derek stepped forward and took her into a hug that she accepted willingly, it was then she completely collapsed and fell to pieces. He soothed her the only way he knew to and it worked, soon he felt her shoulders stop jumping with the sobs and her breathing regulate as she composed herself.

'Garcia do you know who could have sent it?' Hotch said with the note in his hands again, it was written on dirty paper, scruffy uneducated writing scrawled across.

'I'm going to sound crazy if I tell you.' She replied, knowing it sounded completely and utterly loony in her head, in her head she could feign a moment of insanity until clarity came and along and cleared it all up for her, but saying it aloud made her insanity known to 6 people.

'Try us.' Rossi said, not willing to bat down anything he was about to hear from Penelope's mouth.

'Chase McClusky... that hand writing on that note is Chase McClusky's.'


	10. Dead man walking

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

As the turn of events happened and the insane thought was spilt the decision to get to the safety of bureau was unanimous. There they could reassess everything, that they knew and didn't know. Although once they were there, there was nothing else they could do but question, they needed more to go on and one note and a tape could only justify that Penelope's claim that Chase McClusky was alive or at least someone decided it was a good joke to resurrect the idea that he was alive.

It was turning 7 that night and they realised they had just spent their free day sitting around a table trying to decide the poignant effects of Penelope's post. Hotch had decided that mulling over it all consistently was not going to help anyone so everyone decided to depart and go to their respective homes. Derek who was planning on stopping at Penelope's followed through with that plan. He took her home while everyone else dispersed with the decision to carry on with normal life until more things came, if there were to be any. All left with the imprint from the small section of the tape they had watched, all knowing Penelope was better than that, she thrived for life, for their lives and they didn't need to see her getting hurt to see how close she was to giving up on it. If they had continued to watch they would have questioned their life without her in it, if she had in fact taken one last breath and given up entirely. Life would be nowhere near as bearable.

For now they left with their thoughts and drove with their thoughts and that night they would sleep with their own thoughts.

------------------------------------------------------------------

'Want shall we get in baby girl?' Derek asked as he unlocked the door and held it for Penelope to enter. He wanted to make the night as normal as possible. He didn't want Penelope to panic about things that she had no control over so he would do what he had to in order to keep her normalcy for her

'Just get some take out... it's easy, I just want to laze around seeing as I ruined your plans.'

'Hey they can go on hold for another day and have done so don't worry that pretty little head of yours.' She smiled and accepted a kiss off him.

'Oaky handsome... I'm going to go get changed.'

'You do that; I'll get the menus out.' She nodded and started to dig through the draws as soon as she got in the room, she threw some bottoms on to the bed, and a top and then got a pair of sweats and t-shirt out for Derek. 'You stuff's on the bed hot stuff.' She got no response. She put the top she had in her hand on the draw and walked out, Derek was on the floor obviously in the throes of a consciousness and otherwise, her eyes darted to an all too familiar figure in her front room.

'Well well well Penelope Garcia we meet again.' Penelope's eyes widened and she gasped as she felt someone grab her from behind. 'Why do you look so scared?' She remained silent. 'Now I currently have 5 others going to get those lovely people that were here earlier and we are going to have a long chat about things.' She was about to scream when a hand pushed tight to her lips and she felt the familiar feel of a needle as it penetrated her skin. 'Half the amount of the others.' He said and smiled and then watched Penelope collapse with paralysing state of consciousness into the unknown assailant holding her.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever she was injected with made it hard for to keep a grip on reality, she knew the feeling, everything was so familiar to her. It was him, it was the drug, it was the past. This time though when she woke up she was aware of near surroundings, she was completely aware of a familiar dank claustrophobic feel she had from the 4 walls. She shook her head, and realised she was on the floor, her legs bound together, her hands behind her back, a gag in her mouth, when she looked up she felt her heart drop. On 6 chairs were the rest of the team, none awake, none aware of what she had dragged them into. She felt the tears prick in the corner of her eyes and couldn't help but let them fall, she had got them involved in this and now she had no idea what fate she had led them to.

Hotch shifted slightly, and her attention shot to it, she watched, praying he wouldn't look at her with blame but as his head lifted and his eyes focused, they filled with worry. He wanted to say so much but couldn't due to being gagged as well, he shook his head with intent to clear it of the druggy haze, he looked to his left, Reid and JJ still under, he then looked to his right, Derek, Emily and Rossi all gagged, Derek and Rossi seemed to be coming to. He looked at Penelope whose head was against the wall as she cried, and he knew right then and there that the writer of the letter was the person behind this. He felt Derek's body stiffen next to him as his mind caught up and his eyes opened. He looked at his trusted colleague and saw the confusion, he then waited for him to lift his head up and as he did he saw the expression and anger he knew would come.

Penelope had sucked in her tears, she knew she couldn't break down right there in reality; she could break down later, if there was a later. For now she diverted eye contact as all 6 members of the team desperately tried to get her to look at them, they all knew she was in the middle of an inner battle of self- regret, self-hatred and self-blame, none of them thought that at all. Well she finally did look at them they all saw the apology she was sending them. They now all knew that she knew who it was, it was a dead man walking.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**a/n: Okay so I know it's short but I know where it's going and I'm balancing this in with revision so my fickle brain is a little panicked at the work overload it actually has to do for once!**

**But let me know! But I hope you're enjoying! =)**


	11. Tauntings

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

The door opened and the taunting laugh echoed, they all had heard it on the film, they looked in the only direction they could right there and then and that was straight ahead, straight at Penelope. They heard walking behind them and then a figure in their right peripheral. Penelope's eyes watched the figure as he approached her, he bent down and ran his hand around her face, she flinched and recoiled in disgust at the touch. He then grabbed her shoulders and picked her up; he slammed her against the wall and ignored the incessant struggles that came from behind him. He leant in allowing his breath to begin tickling Penelope's ear as he spoke.

'Third time lucky... we have some catching up to do.' The team watched Penelope as he eyes closed. 'You might have got away last time Penelope but not this time.' They then saw her whimper slightly in his grasp and he began to laugh again. He then released her shoulders slightly and held her awkwardly against the wall by her throat. He spoke louder this time. 'Do you realise how easy it would be to just break your pretty little neck right now?' Penelope began to gather strength from somewhere, her past was not about to become her present. She looked him square in the eyes. 'I bet you're a little shocked to be looking into the eyes of a man that tried to kill you, a man that your brother killed.' She blinked. 'Well we'll get to that later.' He pushed on her throat, cutting some air off. 'For now I think you deserve to come with me... see some old faces.' And with that he grabbed her shoulders again and near enough dragged her around the team as they tried to pull at their ties to get free. Then the door slammed shut and they were all left to reel in their own worry and imagination.

No sense of day, no idea of the shift of light meant no one knew how much time lapsed since Penelope had been taken, then they heard the door as it flung open. 'We had fun didn't we Penelope.' Chase said as he flung her down forcefully. 'Great to have a catch up with old acquaintances, wouldn't you say Penelope. Looking forward to some fun later.' He looked at the team, Hotch's, Derek's and Rossi's eyes emblazoned with fury. Emily, JJ and Reid's focus went from Chase to Penelope. He then smirked and exited the room, door shutting and locking behind him. All attention immediately on Penelope, this unnerved her, never one for centre of attention yet here she was with 6 pairs of eyes on her. She wanted to scream that she had just been touched by dirty hands, hands that belonged to drug dealers, and women beaters and robbers and killers but she couldn't. The one thing that gave it away was the look in her eyes, Derek winked at her and she smiled slightly around the gag. They then fell into a silence that wasn't eerie but thoughtful and important.

The next time Chase re-entered he removed the gags from their mouths, including Penelope's and then pulled her to her feet, he wrapped his arms around her closing the proximity of their bodies and untied her hands, before she could react he had her by her wrists, her hands above her head, body squashed to hers. She smirked at him and his face contorted with confusion. 'What's so funny Penelope?'

'You don't see it do you?' She said quietly to him, never losing eye contact.

'See what?'

'I can look you in the eyes and not flinch... like right now, what am I doing?'

'You know that threat I said earlier? About your pretty little neck? Keep going the way you are and I will make it a reality.'

'No you won't.'

'How much are you willing to bet?'

'Well if you had wanted me dead you wouldn't play cat and mouse again.'

He smirked this time. 'Want to know why I'm not 6 feet under?'

'Enlighten me.'

'Your brother got my brother.' He saw her eyes widen and he chuckled. 'Poor little Mark... shame we were identical or he might be alive right now.' He then pulled her off the wall and spun her around, tying her arms together again. He then pushed her down harder than before a little shocked with how Penelope had become. Not expecting her to thrive and blossom into an independent being who looked fear in its eyes and didn't flinch when it looked her back dead straight. What he had done to her should have made her curl up and hate life, hate it for what it could do but not this. He left in an evident tiff with what he had taken on.

'Pen...'

'I'm fine...' She looked at them. 'Honest.' She then looked down at floor. 'I'm sorry.'

Everyone looked at one another. 'This is nowhere near your fought Penelope.' Hotch said in his boss voice, hoping inside that hearing that tone of voice would knock some sense into them.

'Yeah baby girl... we don't blame you.' She looked up at him and he smiled and some more worries dispersed from her tense posture. She began to stand. 'Pen what are you doing?'

'I'm going to untie your hands.' She replied as she got her balance the best she could with her legs still bound. She then started to hop, surprisingly light considering her legs were still tied together/

'How?'

'It's going to be difficult... but if I work on Derek's then he is the stronger one.' She continued to go on as she made her way to Derek, she then put her hands in his and he squeezed it reassuringly, he then felt her get to work. 'Right pretend I haven't done anything.' She said after working on his hands for what felt like forever. She then hastily made her way back to her spot on the floor just as the door opened.

'Taster session.' Chase said as he approached. When he was close enough he swung and hit Penelope around the face, she ran her tongue along her teeth and then her lip, over the new cut and then smiled, she as prepared to have fun with this.

'You're a lot weaker than I recall.'

'I did beat you good those days we spent together didn't I? But my physic is better.' He boasted and then defended; trying hard to ignore the insult Penelope had just passed his way.

'Still got the huge ego going on then.'

'Oh Penelope you wound me.' He then picked her up once again as though it was routine. He then back handed her. 'Never thought I'd have had you down as one to back chat to me.'

'You seem to not think at all.' She responded with the sting still in her cheek, her voice void of any emotion. 'Never were the cleverest soul were you?' She now taunted him, if anything in life had taught her it was to pick holes in the most unexpected ways, Penelope nick picking and back chatting was unexpected to how Chase had last seen Penelope.

'That's why Penelope, I left it all up to you.'

'Ever wonder why you coke was always out a couple of grams... or you had odd amounts of money accounted for?' She surveyed his features. 'Of course not because you dyslexic little gangster soul didn't want to make itself look an idiot in front of his _'homies'_ so he trusted the girlfriend.'

He charged at her then, her eyes didn't flicker once, he put a hand around her throat and pushed her towards the farther wall, the one now to the left on the team, they all looked in horror as Penelope chocked against the grip, Rossi and Emily looking at Derek as he started to finish the job Penelope had started. 'What did I say about making me look stupid?'

'I was told never to lie.' She answered somewhat strained but saw the very hard man unravelling before he very eyes as she showed no fear any more. 'You. Don't. Scare. Me.' She spat out almost as though the words were venom.

'I better have.' He then threw her across the floor to the space behind the team, they all strained their necks to look, Derek's hand making faster haste, the other's trying desperately to break free.

They heard the wind get knocked out of Penelope a couple of times before Chase spoke again. 'I want to know something.'

'What's that?'

'Well actually see something.' He picked her up and pulled her to the wall she had originally been against when she had first woken up, the team looked on confused never once stopping their attempts to get free, he placed her in front of himself where the light was bright and clearer to see things. Penelope spat out some blood and looked at him with a smug grin on her face again. He grabbed her head and twisted it, moving her hair aside to look behind her ear.

She laughed as he checked the other ear. 'You didn't seriously think I would brand myself with your initials right?'

'But... you bitch! How?'

'It's called henna... I never wanted that tattoo so I never got it.'

Chase absolutely fuming now at another disobedient act that Penelope had just unearthed. He liked his women to get a tattoo of his initials behind their ear to make a mark. He raised his arm, his hand in a clenched fist as he went to punch Penelope a larger hand grabbed it and pulled him around, there he was greeted with the unleashed fury of Derek Morgan.


	12. Much hoped justice

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Derek didn't have to think twice about what was going to happen, he was seeing red at that moment if he could he would tear the man, who's hand he was currently crushing, limb for limb. Not only was he a ghost from the past but they had just witness him beat Penelope. He looked at her and saw her weakening, the beating catching up with her now that part of the threat that had been so close to the surface was no longer prominently there, yet she looked him in the eyes and then manoeuvred herself to untie ropes, she went for Hotch's first then, then Rossi and when both men were free she allowed herself to collapse against the wall as everything took its toll. She sat emotionless, not caring that at that moment in time Derek was beating the living daylights out of a man, her mind clocked that another man was now avenging for her and all she felt from it was pure love.

Hotch allowed Rossi to get Derek off Chase, the man was nearly unconscious and therefore evidently not going anywhere, whilst Rossi did this he and the others surrounded Penelope and untied her, her wrists chaffed from the harsh movements that had occurred from being dragged about. They looked at her and she just stared ahead, all the time her mind going over whether or not she had indeed taken on Chase McClusky and basically succeeded. Hotch surveyed Penelope the best he could, he noticed a strong bruise appearing on her jaw line, the split lip, the blood that was on her lips was evidently from the inside of her mouth, he then noticed that although her arms had not long been untied one was indeed covering her protectively, almost as though holding on in an attempt to eliminate pain of some kind.

Rossi had made Derek get to Penelope while he took rope and tied Chase up in the fashion that Penelope had been. He then left the man to himself and joined the group. Derek was now next to Penelope, she was so silent and still that it was hard to make the connection that that was indeed their Penelope Garcia.

'Baby girl.'

'Can we just get out of here? Please.' She said in a painful whisper.

'Yeah come on.' Then he froze, and looked at Hotch. 'What about the other people around?'

'We'll get out... they didn't check my ankle for my gun.' Hotch smiled and took the gun out. 'Come on.'

They all stood and Penelope tried but winced strongly telling them that beating was worse than they wanted to acknowledge. Derek and Hotch both knelt down and helped her stand, both noticing her shortness of breath that followed her gasping. Hotch put the girls in between himself and Derek and Rossi and Reid. They found the door open and pulled it sharply, then they closed it and wedged it shut with a piece of scrap metal. They all saw the open door at the end of the corridor and made that their aim. They all halted when they heard laughter from one of the rooms. Rossi pressured Derek to get Penelope out, followed by JJ and Emily. There Derek would keep guard and protect the girls until all 7 of them were outside. As they ran Penelope froze as she looked into an open door, paralysed by the past as she stared into the room where it had all happened before. She snapped out of reality and ran as fast as she could and released her pent up breath as the wind hit her face and her lungs drew in fresh air, she then allowed herself to slide down a wall and await while everyone got out. When JJ and Emily made it out Derek literally forced them to Penelope while he carried on as look out for the remaining 3 to get out.

'Pen... you okay?' Emily asked as she crouched down. Penelope just nodded affirmative with her head. 'Come on Pen we need to start finding our way out of here.'

'Yeah... let's get you up and then we can go.' JJ tried to encourage her.

'I know how to get out.'

'What? How?'

'This is where he did it.' Were the only words that escaped her lips. Both JJ and Emily exchanged looks, they knew why Penelope had frozen in the corridor now, they looked over just as Rossi left the building followed by Hotch.

'Come on... let's get you out of here.' JJ said as she helped Penelope stand up.

'Baby girl you okay?' Derek asked as he came to assess the state Penelope was in from the previous beating. He stepped in front of her. 'Are you able to walk far?'

'It's not that far.' She said and looked up at him. 'It's about 10 minutes in that way and you're on the road.' The men all looked confused. 'This is Chases' place; this is where he did it to me... so I know.'

Derek nodded, kissed her forehead in comfort and then helped her walk towards the road. They all walked warily and watchful and made it to the road side faster than they expected.

'We can't walk because it will take us too long to hit any neighbourhood in either direction but we need that one to get us back anywhere near Quantico.' Penelope told them and point in the left direction.

'We're going to have to flag someone down to help us.' Hotch said and kept his eye out, luckily it was day and so visibility was clear.

'Police! Now that might work better.' Reid said trying to keep spirits high. They watched the police pull to a halt and the two officers get out.

'David Rossi?' The older one said on approach.

Rossi breathed out the biggest breath ever and smiled. 'Thank God it's you Ben.' Rossi said looking at the others. 'We need your help urgently.'

'Well I can see that... what are you doing out here?'

'Kidnapped.'

'By?'

'Chase McClusky.'

The police officer looked at each of the teams faces and stopped on Penelope who was hugging herself while Derek kept her close to him with his right arm. 'Let me get an ambulance and back up.'

'I'm going to come with you.' Rossi said. 'This person needs to have justice served once and for all.' The officer nodded and got on the radio.

'I'm going to come with you... Morgan, Reid go with the girls to get Penelope checked over.' Whilst Hotch said this the younger officer went to the back of the car and got out three bottles of water, the men pushed him to give them to the women.

No longer than 15 minutes later were Hotch and Rossi giving the group of officers a rundown of what had happened and why it had happened. They all looked at Penelope and understood why she looked like she had taken a beaten from a pro boxer.

'Pen you need to go to the hospital.'

'No... I just want to go home.'

'Ms Garcia I would advise you to go to the hospital so that your ribs can get examined, you already have bruising of a large amount coming out and it would be best to make sure you have no breaks or fractures.'

'Fine.'

'Derek an officers going to take us to the hospital you go with Penelope and we'll meet you there.' Derek nodded and got in the back of the ambulance with Penelope and never let go of her hand. Thankful for her safety, praying that McClusky would still be in the room awaiting justice of past and present to be slapped upon him with full throttle.


	13. I can't do this anymore

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

When Hotch and Rossi had arrived at the hospital their main concern was that of Penelope, the one who had taken an enormous beating in quick succession. When they had entered the room that they had left McClusky they had found it to be successfully empty but they had found Chase McClusky, being protected by several over weight men in a room nearby, F.B.I. and multiple police cops later the large menacing group had been captured and Chase McClusky was on his way down for kidnap, assault and GBH with intent to kill of a ten year old case, and now again the kidnap, assault and GBH with intent to kill of a federal agent. Not only that but also 6 other counts of kidnapping federal agents. His time in prison was a lengthy lifelong one and he would spend it with the one and only Jacob Garcia, who unfortunately was going down for a provoked manslaughter charge with parole.

After getting an update that extended to the saying, waiting room, they went up the corridor found the elevator, found the floor and with found the team. Evident tiredness creeping in on their faces, worry scrawled into every burrow, worry radiating from them like a sore thumb.

'What's happening?' Hotch asked on approach.

'She's had x-rays done because they weren't sure if her ribs are broken or badly bruised. Her jaw might be broken but apart from that she's just badly bruised.'

'Broken jaw? Seriously?'

'Well the bruising pattern is coherent with it but we won't know until such time as they've got the x-rays.'

Hotch and Rossi nodded. 'Was no one allowed to stay with her?'

'No... not until they've got her settled in a room.'

'They're making her stay overnight for observation whatever.' Again the two bosses nodded and took sits with the others. The whole time Derek had not expressed one word, he had remained silent, his eyes transfixed with the stained flooring.

'Penelope Garcia?' A young nurse asked an hour later recognising the gang but not the two older gentlemen that stood at the name. 'Would you like to follow me please?' They all stood and followed the woman to a room up the corridor a little bit, they all saw Penelope laying wide awake, the nurse stood in the doorway and allowed them in. 'A doctor will be up soon.' She said and received nods before leaving.

'Hey baby girl... how you doing?'

'Getting lonely.' She said quietly, scarily disconnected for Penelope Garcia. 'Can we just go home now?'

'Sorry sweetness but you got to stay in here overnight minimum.' She sighed and raised a hand to her head in frustration. 'We get it that this is the last place you want to be right now...'

'I just really want to go home.'

'We know and we understand that.' They all looked at the knock on the door and saw the doctor standing there, a chart in his hands.

He smiled. 'How are you feeling now Ms Garcia?'

'Fine... can I go home?'

'I'm afraid not until the morning... although you jaw is not broken it is indeed near enough fractured.' He saw the worry spread like wildfire. 'We'd like you to keep ice on it, to reduce the swelling and then we do another x-ray to assess how bad the damage is entirely.' He then moved over and turned the light on the wall to look over the x-rays of Penelope's chest once more. 'You have minor fractures to at least 3 of your ribs, the majority of the rest are mainly bruised, so we have wrapped them for added support... now when you breathe in it will be painful but you need to fill your lungs with as much air as possible to help diffract the pressure.' Penelope nodded. 'For now I'm going to get a nurse to come in and give you some strong painkillers and you need to rest.' With that said he left.

'See this time tomorrow you will be tucked up in bed.'

'I'm not going back there.'

'Baby girl... you come to mine.' She nodded, knowing full well she no longer felt safe in her apartment after coming face to face with a ghost of the past.

'Right everyone let's get home and get some rest, for now we could only get Derek's hoodie from the SUV's at the bureau but tomorrow we'll get you some proper clothes and then we can get you home.' Penelope nodded and then everyone bid their farewells and went home.

Derek looked at Penelope and took her hand as the tears fell. 'Come here goddess.' He said taking her in his arms, cradling her emotional pained body in his arms. 'It's okay baby girl.'

'No it's not.'

'Why isn't it?'

'It's my fault you were there... it's my fault you had to watch.'

'Penelope! You never asked for this! We don't blame you for any of it.' He wiped her tears, feeling his heart breaking as her tears left her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks. 'I know it was hard with everything but we got him... the good guys got him and he isn't hurting you ever again. You're safe, safe with me.' She nodded.

'I really hate these places.' She laughed slightly.

'I know you do but it will be over, now why don't you just sleep.' He suggested and helped her lay down; Penelope was asleep long before the nurse came in and gave the much needed pain killers. Derek then settled into a seat and stood guard over Penelope, allowing no harm to come to her. He slept instantly and calmly, his hand enveloped with Penelope's in perfect unity, just as he liked it. However, when he awoke it was a completely different story.

He looked at the bed, allowed his eyes to focus and his mind to catch up, before realising Penelope's bed was indeed empty. He shot up and looked at his watch, it was only 5:46am, the light was indeed outside even if minimal, his hoodie was indeed missing and his baby girl was indeed missing. He left the room, spoke to the nurse, he reassured them and went on the hunt. He knew one place she might be that was close and offered her a breather.

When he made it, he smiled and breathed out, there was Penelope, his hoodie wrapped around her, her knee's drawn up the hospital gown falling down to her feet, her eyes red and containing a distant glare to them as she peered out onto the river.

'Hey baby girl... don't you know it's too early and chilly to be out.' She shrugged and continued to stare. 'Come on let's get you back in.' He placed a hand on her.

'Derek please get off me.'

He felt hurt at the words, but then reality slapped him in the head, back at the place she had been touched, she had been hurt, she had been invaded if not completely but she had been violated in a sense. 'Let's get you back goddess... then we can get the x-rays done and get you home.'

She looked at him. 'I can't do this anymore.'

'Baby don't talk like that.' He said as he watched her sob.

'I'm going to live with this hanging over me for life now... twice he got me... twice he had his way... except the second time he did it with a bigger audience.'

_Bigger audience._ Those words echoed his head a couple of times. That meant the first time she wasn't alone, the second time they knew she wasn't but the first time she had people watching it.

'I just can't do this anymore.'


	14. I won't allow it

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Derek, after finally managing to get Penelope back into the hospital, now found himself in Penelope's room alone while she had the new set of tests and x-rays done. Hotch walked in alone and saw Derek's expression as it was set for somewhere that wasn't in reality. He walked in and sat on the bed in front of Derek and leant forward.

'What's wrong?' He asked demanding, not taking a pass off as a response.

'I'm worried about Pen that's all.'

'We all are Derek.'

'I don't mean like that... I mean I know you are but I found her outside this morning, alone; she told me she can't do this anymore.'

'Well we aren't giving her that option.'

'The problem is I think she's already given up Hotch.' Derek continued, his voice sounded thick with tears. 'I can't imagine anything happening to her.'

'Well we aren't going to let it happen to her.' He saw Derek run his fingers over his mouth in thought. 'What else is it?'

'This.' He said pulling a small velvet box out of his pocket. 'I've had it a couple of weeks... she's my one Hotch... she always has been... she's always been there, right under my nose, prompted me when I've lost my way, comforted me... I hope I can do the same for her and get out of this frame of mind.'

'Can I look?' Derek just passed the box over and Hotch opened it and then smiled. 'You know her too well.'

'You think?'

'I know... so tonight I think you need to sit her down, have a deep talk with her, about everything and ask her Morgan...'

'Thanks Hotch.' Derek said feeling a new light in the darkness. Of course, Hotch was right, wasn't he always? He was the boss after all, Derek knew there and then he had to be truthful with Penelope in order to help her, and that he would do.

'No problems... just make her realise she can do this... Penelope Garcia doesn't usually give up so why should she start now?'

'You're right... but I also think she might need some instalment from the boss.'

'Well I think the boss can do that too.'

---------------------------------------------------------

'What you want to do baby girl?' She shrugged her shoulders, hardly nothing spoken since that morning outside. 'Right seeing as you are in silent mode, I'm going to do all the speaking.' She looked up and was about to speak. 'No baby girl... you can't come out of silent mode until I've finished. Got it?' She nodded in silence again. 'Right, I know that life has been tough for you baby, and I also know that the last couple of days, weeks, months, haven't graced you with good memories of the past but I refuse to allow you to give up. You want to know why?' She nodded. 'Because I love you... in fact, I'm in love with you and I refuse to give up on you like that... okay you had to face up to some demons and skeletons lately but I repudiate that you will give up because of it... because if you do Penelope you let them win, all the time you stay strong and move on, you show them who the bigger person. McClusky is going down for what he did both for the past and the present, he lost, you showed him that in that room when you stood strong and held you head high... so please just don't give up now.'

He noticed she was crying now, silent tears, silent sobs rocked her body. He cupped her face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears. 'I know it's hard and life seems unbearable and I realise that you're in pain physically and mentally because of it but P you can't give up... promise me you won't?'

'I promise.' She murmured. 'I'm sorry.' She said as she realised she was being selfish to want to give up when she had 6 people's love to live for. One in particular was sitting in front of her, willing her to want to carry on.

'Don't be! I just need to realise that I wouldn't be able to cope without you in my life... you baby girl are my world and to prove it... I want to do this.' He got down on one knee and pulled the velvet box from his pocket. 'Will you do me the honour baby girl and marry me?'

She gasped; the ring was perfect, unique but traditional all at the same time. She felt the reaction stumble in her head and then allowed her eyes to let more tears flee before she said it. 'Yes.'

Derek breathed out heavily and smiled, he felt a tear run down his face. 'I love you too much baby girl... you need to realise that... I love you too much to allow this to swallow you.'

'Thank you.' She said once the ring was on her finger and he had pulled her into his embrace.

'Any time baby girl... For a lifetime.' She nodded and felt the weight of the word dislodge from her shoulders.


	15. Talk with the boss

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

She thrashed about and then jolted awake, immediately feeling the tightened grip of Derek around her. She relaxed into his grip but couldn't keep the tears held back.

'Hey baby girl.' He released the grip, and sat up to hold her properly and wipe the remnants of tears from her face. 'Want to talk about it?'

She bit her lip and saw the unity they had formed, she needed to tell and he obviously needed to hear. 'I... It was the night I came out of the bedroom and you were on the floor and someone grabbed me but Chase... didn't take us, he just...' She began to sob.

'He what P?' He asked knowing the only way to get over a nightmare was to express it.

'He killed you all. He killed you all in front of me. He made me watch it.' She sobbed harder. 'I don't ever want to see that happen again.'

'Come here... unfortunately I have to tell you that we are planning to stick around for much too long to come for you to worry.' He joked slightly and she smiled sadly as she nodded into his chest. 'What about the one before this one?' He looked her in the eyes, she had briefly woken earlier from the throes of a nightmare but had instantly fallen back to sleep.

'He repeated what he did before...'

'What else?'

'It was done in front of you lot.' She sniffed at the end of it, but no more tears fell which must have a been an evident element of closure for her.

'P... 'Derek said not knowing quite where to take this answer. 'Hotch wants to talk to you about everything today... will you be up for that?' She shrugged. 'Well it might help... and tell him about the nightmares...'

'I think I need to see someone.' She admitted. 'I do not want to live my life dreaming of that happening again or you getting hurt.'

'I get that and I respect that... I'm proud of you, you know that.'

'Proud? I'm slightly in the middle of a mental breakdown. How does that evoke pride?'

'No you're not if you were you wouldn't be admitting to help baby girl... you've seen those in the middle of mental breakdowns they don't acknowledge they have problems... they see us as the ones that have the problems.' She nodded. 'Now come here.' He said eloping her in a hug and pulling her down to a lying down position. 'Better?'

'Mm, much better.' She said as she settled down.

'No one's going to be hurting you P... no one.' And with that said the last of the stress defused and Penelope fell asleep in the continual embrace of Derek.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When woke up again she was alone this time and she heard talking. She felt tired like she usually did after having nightmares, she felt saddened that they had occurred, she also felt happy that they were over, she felt relieved to wake up and not feel ready to give up. She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and smiled, as she did so she felt all the worries of nightmares and all the feelings of dread she had been carrying on her shoulders disperse and dissolve away. That ring proved she had a permanent protector who would cradle her through the nights and look after her whole heartedly. With that ring she didn't need to succumb to weakness when she had someone behind her willing her to keep going and reach for strength. She listened intently to the voices, both the voices she knew immediately but couldn't understand what they were saying because they were muffled due to the door being closed. She got up and got changed from her pyjamas and then left the room to be greeted with smiles.

'Good Morning Penelope.' Hotch said from where he was seated. Derek got up and grabbed a cup and made a drink for Penelope and she remained standing.

'Good morning boss man what you doing here?'

'Well I like the more talkative Penelope.'

'Sorry about that.'

'It's okay, I understood but I want a chat.'

'And I need to take Clooney out, so baby girl you sit and talk and I will see you in a bit.' He kissed her forehead grabbed Clooney's lead and attached it to the lead and only then did she realise he was dressed ready for his run. That said this was going to be a long talk. As soon as the door closed, Hotch looked at Penelope.

'I just want to say that I understand that with everything that has happened in the last 3 or so months has taken its toll and I know you have had a lot thrown at you and right at this moment life seems a little top heavy.'

'Sir... I want.' She stopped herself. 'I need to see someone.' She admitted and felt better for just asking.

'Are you sure?'

'I can't live with my free thoughts wandering to what happened. Not just all those years ago but also the other day... it was my problem and I almost got you all hurt.'

'Penelope... do not start to blame yourself for what happened the other day, it was an act of evil, if he wanted you, he would've got you and like you told him. If he wanted to kill you he wouldn't have made a game out of it first. He wanted an audience and he got one but he lost, you won.'

'I know but what if he hurt you.'

'He didn't, he never did and never will.'

'I just... I just can't get over where we were and the thoughts of what could have been.'

'I get that Penelope I really do, but you need to think ahead not behind. I realise that at the moment the grass doesn't seem greener on the other side, that at the moment it appears to be brown and almost hateful but it's not, it's really not. You're out, you're free of him now, and you're engaged.' He saw Penelope smile at that fact and she looked at him. 'Morgan told me, he's over excited about it, utterly overwhelmed that you said yes to him.'

'Really?'

'Penelope... the man idolises you. If he lost you, we'd lose both of you.' Hotch replied and took a sip of his coffee. 'What you need to realise is that you have 6 people who love you too much to allow you to get swallowed up by the past. You're usually our light in the dark now we're yours.'

'Thank you.'

'Any day Penelope.' He gave one of his half smiles. 'Now show me what that ring looks like now it's on your finger.'


	16. Never again

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

**18 months later**

Emily slumped on the bed with a wince. 'You look happy.'

'I am happy.' Penelope replied. It had been 18 months since she had had her talk with Hotch, it was 18 months since she had wanted so bad to give up but wasn't allowed. She looked back and praised the two men that kept her going. She looked back and she smiled that she had beaten her demons and was feeling like life was great. Her and Derek had not rushed a wedding but didn't want to wait too long, so 3 months later Hotch walked her down the aisle passed the team and Derek's family to Derek and now 13 months after that had happened she was laid up 8 months pregnant with twins.

'It would take a fool to not realise that but how you feeling?' JJ said as she eased herself down on the other side.

'Enclosed.' Penelope quipped; she had been on bed rest now for the third week since she had collapsed with high blood pressure.

'I bet... want us to get you anything?'

'A laptop?'

'Nice try Pen but you know that not only Derek would have our heads but Hotch as well.' Emily replied quickly, knowing full well the two husbands would not take lightly. She then picked a pillow off the floor and nestled into it in a relaxed position next to Penelope on the place left nearby.

'Yes Pen you get that, you lose us.' JJ said smiling sweetly but truthful.

Penelope laughed at the inquisition. 'Aw they wouldn't be that horrible... you girlie have to keep me relaxed remember so they would keep you around until after the birth of these two and then there it would be just cruel to snatch them of their aunties, I can't be the only female influence on them in Quantico... the men would offer too much testosterone.'

'Well we're only off because she got shot in the shoulder and I broke my leg.' JJ said as she finally stabilised herself enough to hitch her bad leg up.

'Well ladies I will not say grace and thank you for doing that.'

'Although all four men would agree that it was cleverly devised by fate if anything to keep an eye on you.'

'Yeah you and yourself Pen are just dangerous alone.'

'Am not!'

'There's a certain list out there, doesn't that ring a bell?'

'Okay fair enough.' She looked at the pair and laughed, her attention settled on Emily. 'Hurts like a bitch doesn't it to get shot?'

'That's an understatement... mine was through and through, you had to keep yours inside didn't you.'

'Yeah I did that on purpose.'

'Pen...'

'I'm joking with you Em, lighten up yeah? I'm restrained to a bed for 28 more days I need some fun. Sometimes my minds not good when all I have is myself and cheese on television.'

'How do you mean?'

'Do you think about what happened with McClusky?' Penelope nodded. 'Ahh honey, he's gone.'

'I know but it doesn't make me feel better to remember that he took me again and that oh yeah you were there too.'

'We got out.'

'I know but sometimes my mind just dances on the past and then Derek comes home and saves me from that downhill spiral and I feel like the biggest release is given to me again, that I can breathe and cope... like his my breath of fresh.'

'That's because he is.'

'Like you're his.' Emily said taking Penelope's hand, she shook his comfortingly and then laughed. 'Look at us, the infirmed.'

'Hey... whoa... no! I could easily get up and walk out fine.' Penelope defended.

'You do and I will not be scared to restrain you to the wall.'

'Okay fair do's I won't do that but I am not infirmed, I am nesting and resting for the pair that reside in my belly.'

'That adorable belly.'

'Did you just call my belly adorable?'

'I did... what!' JJ near enough shouted as both women gave her a look. 'That's my nieces or nephews in there... if their current home is adorable I will profess it!'

'Okay fair enough but it's an expanded belly, not a home... I'm like a doss house at the moment, they pay no rent.' The two ladies laughed. 'Seriously though, pregnancy isn't all that great.'

'You proved that when you collapsed on us Pen.'

'Don't remind me.'

'I think if Derek had hair, it would've gone grey... his heart probably weakened though.'

'That's an over exaggeration!'

'No Emily's right Pen... he seriously didn't know what to do that day, all that was going round his head was that his wife, his pregnant wife had collapsed on him and he knew nothing.'

'Well I get that but think how I was supposed to be kept calm when I'm told oh one of your best friends had been shot and then a week later the others involved in car accident.'

'Okay we get it! We'll leave it there, battle done.' JJ said laughing. 'You do know that I think we all got closer after you were arrested Pen.'

'Nothing like an arrest to regroup us all.' Penelope commented with a smile, she agreed.

'Well I do think we were all drifting apart at that point in life and that seemed to put into perspective our lives and the people involved and pull us bad together.'

'I think you would right.'

'Well I may have listened in on interrogations before but my own made me realise that arrests never keep the past the past but I must admit it felt so good you lot knowing.' Penelope replied with a smile and that had the God's honest truth to it, without that arrest she would have probably harboured the secrets for another lifetime and would have felt like she had acted in deceit for them not to know. Now in life, she had no secrets, no ghosts, no demons, no skeletons. She only had a husband, awaiting children, family that loved her and that she loved back and a future. Her past was her past and she wasn't going to let it destroy her present again like it almost had done. She would never let it get to her again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The End!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
